From the recording Disarmed
Lyrics
There was a Gnome
An angry little gnome
With a rage that just explodes
Left my single arm alone
All I said was welcome to the home of Strahd
Such a dark place, such a lovely place
Now my arm is gone, it's laying there on the lawn
Such a green lawn, such a lovely lawn
And I said hey
What
I needed both my hands
Oh
Didn't want to get you mad
And he said
Didn't want to cut your arm at all you see
Not an angry gnome, just a violent gnome
My only rule is that you don't touch me
He said it once and he'll say it again
He claimed to be a rational man
Yet I stand minus arm and hand
He walks away and leaves me with no plan
And I said hey
What
What's a man to do
I don't know
I have one but once had two
That sucks
Guess I have to power through
I guess
Now I walk into a bar and I'm seeing a guy
Such a nice guy, such a lovely guy
Bartender's missing a limb and it's on the same side
I wonder if that's just a coincidence
I lift my arm to attempt to wave hi
But I normally only wave with my right
I raise my nub and it catches his eye
And he says hey
What
How'd you lose your arm
I'll tell you
We have suffered equal harm
Looks like it
Mine's still laying on the farm
Such a lovely farm
He says
T'was an angry gnome about the height of my knee
Such a short gnome, such a lovely gnome
With a wave of his hand his weapon set my arm free
Such a sharp blade, such a lovely blade
A rowdy one I grabbed his shoulder
Pulled out his blade, arm partnership over
One sleeve in every coat will now be colder
That's when they
Who
A bunch of other dudes
Where at
Through the bar doors they came through
Oh, there
And their arms don't number two
I see
Yes they all had encounters with the paladin gnome
Such a violent gnome, such a lovely gnome
Some deserved it some were just walking home
What a great home, such a lovely home
So we're gonna start a group
For people who have one instead of two
And help each other with peeling fruits
It's just the way
What
The group has been disarmed